“I sincerely hope you never stop writing. Your articles have been invaluable to me. I’m amazed at the pace at which you write. I can hardly keep up with your posts! How do you sustain this pace of writing? What drives you to write so passionately? What do you hope to achieve through your writing?”
I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Almost invariably, once I finish and post an article, I feel like this is the last article I’m going to publish. What is there left to say? The idea of sitting down and writing another article tomorrow is unfathomable to me. From where is that inspiration and energy going to come? I have felt this way since the very start after almost every article I write. That’s it, I’m done. That’s the last one.
And yet, unexpectedly the inspiration comes and finds me the next day. And the next day. And the day after that. Each time it’s a surprise. Each time I have no idea what I’m going to say or how its going to all come together. Half of the time, the ideas I express are occurring to me for the very first time.
So, my writing is a means of organizing my own thoughts. Putting them down on paper, allows them to crystallize from the vague and amorphous forms in which they exist in my head into the clear structures in which I express them. I am just as much of a reader of my work as I am a writer of it. Many times as I’m writing, I’m also understanding with greater clarity.
So, as far as “never stop writing” is concerned, that is something I seem to have little control over.
I also have little control over the fact that I am drawn to write. You asked me what drives me and for once I am at a loss for words. I honestly don’t know. I could rationalize it in any number of ways, but in the end all those reasons only feel like half-truths. The best way I can express it is that it is an organic expression of who I am. Just like a stream flows down a mountain or a flower bud blooms, my words flow out of my mind, my ideas blossom after germinating for years. There is no real “reason” other than that is what seems to be the natural course of things.
There is also no real intention with regards to “hoping to achieve anything through my writing”. I have no idea what it will achieve. I know it will have all kinds of effects, some positive and others negative. There is no way for me to know what those effects will be nor to even understand the big picture of its impact. It may well turn out that this IS the last article on this page. In which case, a year from now most people will have forgotten this page even existed.
What I can tell you is that my writing isn’t about me. It isn’t about you either. It comes through me but isn’t FROM me, if that makes any sense. Similarly, it goes to you, but isn’t FOR you. It’s something inevitable. It belongs to life alone. You are I are merely the conducting and receiving instruments respectively.
A violin may make music and other violins may harmonize to its tune. But the violin cannot invent music. Music exists beyond the realm of violins.
So, many of the things that surprise you about my writing, surprise me too. I had no idea I could sustain such a pace or generate such a volume in such a short period of time. But it just so happens to be the case. I can hardly claim full credit for it.
Instead, I must be contented to, along with other readers of the page, watch with curiosity as the show unfolds. What will happen next is as much your guess as it is mine. The only thing I have control over is keeping my instrument in tune and receptive to that which is playing it.
Viva la vida.